EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING
Learning about Tenacity
As Explored through the Lens of the Chanukah Story
Dear Parents:
Real learning happens when we experience the new concepts. That is the premise of Experiential Learning.
This is what the early childhood stage is all about. At this stage of development, young children are experiencing life (emotionally), learning new concepts (cognitively) and merging these two together, so that they ‘own’ their knowledge. If we only teach facts (e.g.: number recognition), without the children emotionally relating to the concepts (e.g.: few, many, enough, more, less, etc.), then these facts will essentially remain decontextualized information. The children can recognize the information (the numbers in our example) but it would have no effect on the child’s cognitive development (honing the skill of logical/mathematical reasoning).
I’d like to share an example of how a Pre-K child, through open dialogue, was able to explore a concept in moral development that he will hopefully integrate into his character. Because the new ‘information’ was merged with emotional experiences the lesson is ‘owned’. This learning process emerged from the Chanukah curriculum.
As a preface:
When the Zimmer staff meets to prepare holiday curriculum, we go beyond a focus on the colorful story and practices of the holidays; we place a lot of thought on how to impart life skills and values. So, as we met about Chanukah, we were wondering whether the Pre-K/K children could grasp the notion of tenacity (the value exhibited by the Macabees towards wicked King Antiochus). After much discussion, we recognized that – as it is not likely that the children experienced this value (at least at a conscious level) – it would be better to wait until a situation emerges where tenacity can be explored experientially, and then introduce it to the class. However, we would lay the groundwork by telling the story of the Macabees and noting that "the Macabees didn't let anyone persuade them to do anything that they knew was the wrong thing to do." Then,, as situations presented themselves in the classroom, we would refer back to the Macabees’ behavior and use the expression of ‘acting like a Macabee' as a representation of this value.
Well, the very next day, a situation presented itself. I happened to be wearing my mommy hat, as this transpired at home with my son, but the discussion was about an incident in school. I am sharing a transcription of the dialogue (interspersed with my interpretations and explanations to clarify intent of my words).
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After school one day, Levik, age 4, begins to cry, seemingly out of the blue. In a broken voice, he tells me that (his older sister) Rivka is going to be so angry with him. He continues to cry. He seems really worried.
Mommy: Levik, what's the matter? Why do you think that Rivka will be angry? (I use the wording "why do you think that..." since I want to send the message that it is only his assumption, not a fact.)
Levik: I broke it. It's all ripped up! Rivka is going to be so angry. No! I didn't break it. Jared* broke it. I told him not to. He didn't listen. Rivka is going to be so angry with me.
Now Levik’s story begins to unfold. Rivka made a clay turtle. Rivka allowed Levik to take it to school. His friend, as he tells it, got a bit rowdy and broke it. Levik seemed more concerned about Rivka's reaction than about the fact that his space was intruded, and his possession destroyed.
Levik: Mommy, you tell Rivka what happened. I don't want to.
Mommy: Levik, mommy is always here to help you. If you feel that you need me to speak with you to Rivka, I will certainly do that (I am conscious to send a clear message that one must not shirk their moral duties. However, at the same time, if one needs support, it is okay to ask for it.) But, I think that if you were to tell Rivka that you learned something from all of this, she would not be as upset. (I know that this concept is not within his capacity at this point, but I wanted to set up my introduction of ‘tenacity’.) Did you learn anything from this? (The moral message was that he should learn to stand up for what he feels his right. He should not cower when someone mistreats him. Unfortunately, being mistreated is a part of life; we need to learn how to effectively deal with it.)
Levik: Yes! I learned that I should not have taken the thing to school.
Mommy: (Admittedly, not what I was expecting...but upon reflection, totally what I should have been expecting. As we have never really explored the idea of 'strength' before, nor has he consciously acted with tenacity, he could not possibly have offered that as a lesson.) That is an interesting lesson. (I don't want to knock down his ideas, but I know that this is totally contradictory to the moral lesson I want this experience to teach him.) Did you learn anything else?
Levik: That if I take something to school that I don't want ruined, I should put it high up in the closet. (Still not going there...)
Mommy: Do you think that the only way to protect your things is to hide it from other people?
Levik: But Jared broke it. (He was not ready to face anything more. But, as his mommy, I have the responsibility to teach him these lessons, albeit at a slow, respectful pace.)
Mommy: Yes. And I see that it makes you upset. It is not right to ruin something that belongs to someone else. (This is too good of an opportunity to lose; I persist. But I need to break this into simple, easy to understand segments.) What did you tell Jared when he broke it?
Levik: I told him not to. I started crying.
Mommy: So, Levik, if it upset you, you need to tell Jared that this is not the way to treat friends. You need to tell him that it is not right to ruin someone else's things. Levik, when someone tries to hurt you, look directly at the person and tell him not to. That is what it means to be a Macabee. Macabees stood up for what they knew was right. Levik, you could be a Macabee, too.
Levik: But Jared is bigger than me. No, no, he’s not bigger than me. His birthday is before me. He is older than me.
Mommy: And...
Levik: I don't want to say that to him. So I started crying.
Mommy: Levik, if you don't feel strong enough to say this yourself, then it is okay to ask an adult - a Morah, a mommy or daddy - for help. (I don't want to encourage tattle-taling; I want to draw a distinction between the two. Asking for help is not the same as tattle-taling. It is the motive that makes all the difference.)
What was interesting is how resistant Levik was to this idea. Upon reflection, I realize that he was very emotionally invested; his fear of having to face Rivka was the likely reason that he was not emotionally-available to hear this message. And, in fact, after he apologized to Rivka, I readdressed the idea of standing up - like a Macabee - for what you know is right, and he was open.
I will incorporate this concept into our vocabulary at home, and I shared with the teachers who will be utilizing this as vocabulary in school.
Of course, it will take a while until Levik assimilates it properly into his personality. I am sure that he might misinterpret it at times and might even manipulate this concept as a justification for his own bullying towards others (eg: "I was being like a Macabee so I hit [my younger brother] Nechemia when he pulled away my toy."). That is okay, that is part of his learning process. And I will have to correct him, and offer the correct interpretation of strength. But, at the end, he will have an incredibly powerful tool in his toolbox - called tenacity, strength to stand up for convictions. And, I could think of many times that - had I had more tenacity - a story would have ended more to my liking...
*Names have been changed