Think before you act.
I think that’s a good principle for life; it’s one I teach to my kids.
But it doesn’t always apply.
When I awake at night to the sound of my baby crying in feverish pain, do I pause for calculations? Do I weigh my options, balancing the inconvenient awakening with the distinct possibility that I may need this kid when I’m a geriatric?
Nah. I just jump out of bed. Why? Just because.
Because I share a special relationship with my baby, a deep connection that defies description. When he calls, that extraordinary bond beckons, and I need to respond. So I jump out of bed, sans intellectual analysis.
Just because.
Is it rational? Not really. But it's not irrational either. Let's call it super-rational.
I rationally understand that this relationship has tremendous depth. My intellectual analysis confirms that this is a safe and intimate connection. When I genuinely feel safe in a relationship, when I can truly let my guard down, I can confidently move upward into the transcendent world of super-rationality, love etc.
The same applies to my marriage, and – perhaps in differing degrees - to any other deep, safe relationship.
I feel that way with G-d, too.
When I contemplate a Jewish practice, I want to understand its contribution to my life and my destiny; I want to appreciate how it elevates my consciousness and/or improves my day.
But that understanding and appreciation isn’t an absolute prerequisite. I feel safe enough with G d, confident enough in the rock-solid stability of our relationship, to do a Mitzvah ‘just because’.
Actually, doing something for a loved one ‘just because’ (super-rationally as distinct from irrationally) adds a special flavor to the recipe of our relationship. It says ‘I trust you’. It says ‘I love you’.
Doing something for G-d ‘just because’ lays an extraordinary element to the bond we share. It says ‘I’m yours’ and ‘I surrender’.
So even when I can find personal benefit in my interaction with a loved one, I should always try to find a shining ‘just because’ at its core. Because commitment without a ‘just because’ is commitment of my mind and actions, but not commitment of my soul. For some relationships that’s enough, and for some relationships it isn’t.
Why not? Just because.
ב"ה
Mendy wrote...
Excellent point.
When I hold a door for someone, I do so because I believe it is the correct thing to do. I want to live in a respectful and sensitive society and I want to live that way myself. Holding a door open for someone else feels right; it works for me. The act takes minimal effort for [what I consider to be] tangible reward.
But what about when I don't see the reward, or the effort seems non-commensurate?
For example: It's not just anyone walking behind me, but someone who consistently allows the door to slam in my face when the situation is reversed?
Or, it's not a nicety as easy as keeping the door open; somone needs a tire changed or a ride in the opposite direction?
We generally make calculations, weighing the effort against the benefit, and sometimes we just can't do the favor. And that's okay. We can't always be everywhere for everybody. Sometimes I'd like to do the favor, but it just doesn't make sense for me at this time.
But there are some relationships where the calculations don't matter. The person's need looms so large in our lives, that calculations aren't necessary; in fact, they're somewhat insulting.
We do what we need to do. Why? Just because.
Laura Waitze Zuckerman wrote...
I look forward to reading what you have to say....."just because." But actually, it is not "just because." It is because you write such eloquent words, that when put together become an intelligent thought. This may seem like such a simple idea, an intelligent thought, but in reality, it has become a rarity.
When I was growing up, my parents taught me to have manners, to be nice and to think of others. (just to name a few.) When I see someone walking through a door, I hold it for them "just because." But again, it is not "just because." It is because it is a nice thing to do. It is because I respect others, it is because, well, just because you hold the door.
Is this what you are talking about in your blog?