Think before you act.
I think that’s a good principle for life; it’s one I teach to my kids.
But it doesn’t always apply.
When I awake at night to the sound of my baby crying in feverish pain,
do I pause for calculations? Do I weigh my options, balancing the
inconvenient awakening with the distinct possibility that I may need
this kid when I’m a geriatric?
Nah. I just jump out of bed. Why? Just because.
Because I share a special relationship with my baby, a deep connection that defies description. When he calls, that extraordinary bond beckons, and I need to respond. So I jump out of bed, sans intellectual analysis. Just because.
Is it rational? Not really. But it's not irrational either. Let's call
it super-rational.
I rationally understand that this relationship has tremendous depth.
My intellectual analysis confirms that this is a safe and intimate
connection. When I genuinely feel safe in a relationship, when I can truly let my guard down, I can confidently move upward into the transcendent world of super-rationality, love etc.
The same applies to my marriage, and – perhaps in differing degrees - to any other deep, safe relationship.
I feel that way with G-d, too.
When I contemplate a Jewish practice, I want to understand its
contribution to my life and my destiny; I want to appreciate how it elevates my consciousness and/or improves my day.
But that understanding and appreciation isn’t an absolute
prerequisite. I feel safe enough with G d, confident enough in the
rock-solid stability of our relationship, to do a Mitzvah ‘just
because’. Actually, doing something for a loved one ‘just because’ (super-rationally as distinct from irrationally) adds a special flavor to the recipe of our relationship. It says ‘I trust you’. It says ‘I love you’.
Doing something for G-d ‘just because’ lays an extraordinary element to the bond we share. It says ‘I’m yours’ and ‘I surrender’.
So even when I can find personal benefit in my interaction with a
loved one, I should always try to find a shining ‘just because’ at its core. Because commitment without a ‘just because’ is commitment of my mind and actions, but not commitment of my soul. For some relationships that’s enough, and for some relationships it isn’t.
Why did G-d create the world that way?
Just because.
ב"ה