Forty-six years ago, the late Prime Minister and Genral, Ariel Sharon, tragically lost his son Gur to a shooting accident. In response, the Rebbe – with whom he enjoyed a close relationship - sent him a condolence letter.
I excerpt here – using my own words - a thought contained in that letter, as we remember Arik and our own loved ones who have passed on through the years:
In Jewish tradition, when we visit a ‘Shiva house’ - where people are mourning the loss of a loved one - we wish the mourners the following blessing: “May you be comforted amongst the mourners over Zion and Jerusalem”.
You are speaking to someone who has recently experienced destruction in his/her life with the loss of someone dear, and yet you refer back to the destruction of the Holy Temple/Jewish Commonwealth two thousand years ago. Why?
Why do we mention a millennia-old collective tragedy? Why is that relevant to this person in pain? What if he/she has never been to Israel and can’t relate to the destruction?
The Rebbe pointed out that Israel’s holy sites hold a very special place in our hearts (I personally just went across the world with a group of people to celebrate a Bar-Mitzvah at the Kotel).
Why do we travel to visit the Kotel? Because it’s special.
But why is it so special? After all, it’s merely a section of wall that surrounded the Temple Mount where the Temple stood, but that Temple is long gone. It’s a thing of the past. The glory was destroyed by the Babylonians and Romans thousands of years ago and all that remains is this lonely wall.
So why do we go there? In search of nostalgia?
The answer is that we believe the power of G-d’s presence still resonates at the Kotel. There is a living, pulsating Holiness which our enemies could not touch and certainly not destroy. The Romans could only demolish physical structures; they couldn’t impact the soul.
Similarly, we tell a mourner: We bury bodies, not souls. Just as Jews collectively believe in the continuity of Holiness at the Kotel (witness the huge numbers visiting there every year) , so must you believe in the continued existence of your loved one, a soul still vibrant and fresh.
Take heart, we say, in the experience of your history and people.
Death can’t touch a soul.
The relationship is forever.
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