I was driving down the highway, when I got a call from a friend: "Rabbi, my mother was just admitted to the hospital. She's not in acute medical danger, but I can tell she's angry. Can you please visit when you have a chance?"
I knew his mother, a Holocaust-survivor in her eighties, pretty well. Her husband had recently passed away after a long bout with Parkinson's.
When I stopped in to see her, her children stepped out of the room to give us some space.
After hearing a basic medical update, I asked her: “How are you feeling emotionally?”
"G-d should forgive me, I'm angry!"
"Okay. Angry at whom?"
"At whom??? G-d should forgive me, I'm angry at G-d!!"
"Why are you angry at G-d?" I asked.
The woman began to recount her life’s journey: The Holocaust, her difficult transit to this country, the 16-hour days helping her husband earn a modest living while raising her family, her husband's illness… and now this?
She climaxed the account of her life's pain and suffering with a somewhat triumphant "nu, vos zogst du?" That's Yiddish for: "so, what do you say [to that]!?!"
I answered: "I say you're right! I can totally see why you're angry and I have no inclination to tell you that it's unjustified!"
I was silent for a moment as she sank into puzzled satisfaction.
Then I continued: "At the same time, I - as I sit here - have a problem processing all this."
"Why?"
"Your kids are in the hallway. I know that they're very committed to you".
"My kids are the best!" she smiled.
I smiled too, and then I noted that she'd recently celebrated the birth of her first great-grandchild. She cooed with delight over her visit with the baby.
"So here's my quandary", I said. "You have legitimate reasons for being angry, and you also have legitimate reasons for being happy. Human nature is such that the anger usually takes up so much space that it deprives us of our legitimate, well-earned happiness.
You told me you're feeling angry. Are you feeling happy too?"
"How can I be happy when I'm so angry?"
"That's what I’m thinking too! What do YOU suggest?"
"Maybe I should stop focusing so much on the things that make me angry and give myself space to be happy..."
Words for us all to live by.
I couldn't have said them better myself.
ב"ה