Mistake. Failure. When I was younger, those words made me shudder.
Why? Because I strive for success and achievement, so failure is not an option.
Except when it happens.
And what then? How do I deal with my mistakes and failures? I could try to divert my attention, because inadequacy is painful to embrace. On the other hand, I shouldn’t live in denial. Should I just bite my lip and move on, hoping that tomorrow will bring back-to-back successes?
In Torah thought, mistakes and failures are an important part of life. We don’t look for them, but they have a way of finding us. They also, paradoxically, have a dividend for us; it’s called the gift of growth.
When I err - in a relationship, in comprehension, in my finances, etc. – and I face my blunder, it hurts. I’m hit squarely between the eyes, and the pain can easily become an energy-sapping, paralyzing force.
But that would be a shame, and it would miss the whole point of missteps and mistakes. It’s not about wallowing in self-pity. It’s about growth. I need to embrace my internal angst and disappointment, and convert that energy into a catalyst for positive action. With my mistake, I’ve learned a lesson for the future.
Facing my blunder, and analyzing it without fear, also bring me new insights about myself and my attitudes. It helps me break new ground in self-awareness. How did I get here, and how could this happen?
My slip-up gives me a better connection with the concept at hand. Until I’ve made a mistake in my handling/understanding of a given concept, the concept and I are ‘mere acquaintances’. When I goof, and consequently take a more mature and committed attitude to the subject matter, we’ve just become more intimate. When a rope is torn it takes a double knot to repair it; similarly, my renewed relationship has a psychological ‘double-knot’.
So there are three levels to my 'growth by mistake':
I learn a lesson for my future conduct, when I recognize HOW I went wrong.
I learn more about myself, when I analyze WHY I went wrong.
I become closer to the subject matter, since I’ve revisited and renewed my commitment.
Making mistakes is inevitable. Failing to grow from our mistakes – that would indeed be a mistake.