Sign Of Life

I’ve heard it said that pain is actually a person’s friend, because it lets you know there’s a problem and that you’re not dead.
How would this apply to spiritual turmoil and pain?
Rabbi Menachem Mendel, the third Lubavitcher Rebbe, was approached by a disciple who was bothered by agnostic thoughts.
“Why does this trouble you?” the Rebbe asked him.
“Because I’m a Jew!” the man exclaimed.
“In that case, you’re doing fine,” the Rebbe replied.
The Rebbe’s response teaches two powerful lessons.
First, as long as you’re bothered by your disconnect with the Divine, you’re in (relatively) good shape; at least you know your soul is alive. Apathy is the real danger. Feeling no pain can mean that one has lost sensation in the spiritual “tendons” that connect a person to G-d.
Second, when faith perseveres in the face of doubt, it speaks to the power of that faith.
When the Jews left Egypt, they were at a dismal spiritual level and were steeped in idolatry.
Yet our Sages tell us that the Jews were tenaciously faithful. In fact, the Torah uses the terms “legion” and “battalion” to describe that generation of Jews, to indicate that, despite their theological weaknesses, they “soldiered on” as Jews.
So which was it? Were they on the precipice of disaffiliation or tenaciously connected?
Both.
The Jews were experiencing spiritual turbulence, but they never lost their anchor to the Divine. Their spiritual tenacity in the face of that turbulence kept them going until they got to Sinai, where they experienced Divine Revelation and spiritual clarity.
Spiritual tenacity is the backbone of inspired and full-bodied faith. It’s there to keep us going when we’re feeling empty; maintaining us until the spiritual upswing that may be just around the corner.
So, if you feel the pain of disconnect, celebrate the fact that you care enough to feel that pain.
And, by all means, soldier on.
Your ancestors did it. You have it in your DNA.