It's War

What a perfect day for this message to reach me Mendy! Yes, it's a battle - an internal battle - it's always going on. It defines who we are. If there were no internal struggle, we would be empty. Life would be meaningless. But you raise the question of prayer and it made me think....How do I feel about it? I'm not sure I can even define it....prayer I mean. Is prayer the conversation that goes on in my head? The questions I ask of myself or G-d or both? Can it be prayer when I'm just driving in my car, but really thinking and trying to figure things out? Is it only prayer when I bow my head and close my eyes and say "Please, G-d....."? Is it communal prayer when I discuss the human struggle with a group of friends or peers? We share. We think. We wonder. We ask. Isn't that process of internal struggle, private or communal what connects us to G-d? How exactly do we define prayer?

The break down that you give really helps me to understand prayer in a different way than I had previously. What I'm discovering is that I do a lot more praying than I thought I did....I'm just not doing it well enough yet. I need to stop and give myself the time alone and totally focused. I am a great multi-tasker, but praying is not something that can be done well while doing anything else. I think, for me, that is going to be the first step - being disciplined enough to make the time and space and effort to stop and settle and think and let go and connect.
How do I think most people see prayer? Well, assuming most people think like me - which is something I try not to do - I think most people see prayer as a thing separate and apart from themselves. It's what we do when we're in trouble, scared, lost, alone. We ask G-d when we don't have the answer ourselves. Prayer is also what we do on special occasions or from time to time, to thank G-d, to make it known that we are grateful for our blessings.
To be honest, in the past, when anyone has suggested prayer to me, it's always been a difficult thing for me to grasp. Who am I praying to? And more importantly, who is listening? Who cares? On the other hand, there have been moments in my life, really scary moments, when without even thinking about it I've said, "Please G-d.....!" I think many of us can fill in that blank a million times. We've asked -maybe even begged G-d for help after not having talked to G-d for however long.
But according to what you're saying, Mendy, prayer is what we do (or should do) everyday. It is the process by which we take on the struggle - if we are to take it on in a way that makes us better human beings, in a way that adds depth and purpose to life.
I think I'm getting it. If we pray everyday, if we make a practice of taking on the struggle everyday, maybe then G-d is there, closer to us, listening and answering and maybe then we don't have to shout out in desperation when things get really bad. Maybe the "answers" are more likely to be there just waiting.
I have a lot more thinking to do on this topic. I think my first task is to become more aware of my own thought process. When am I "communicating" and to whom, myself? G-d? Is it honest? Can I be more objective? Am I putting it all out there for myself and G-d to see?
My question back to you: Steps 3 and 4 seem to me to be the actualization and reward of steps 1 and 2. Can you describe a little bit more about how you address or experience those steps through prayer?

Mendy, thank you for your comments above. I am comforted and at the same time, intrigued and excited by your support of the idea that one's relationship with G-d begins with an understanding of self. (As I type those words, it seems obvious that it could begin no other way. Every healthy relationship begins with an understanding of self.) I see Divine beauty everywhere in my life, in the world around me. In some places, it's so easy to be aligned in that Divine relationship. There is a clarity and a simplicity to the relationship and a sort of energy flow that gives me strength and perspective and most of all, a sense of humor or sometimes just a feeling of lightness. Then there are other places where, if I could put the "psycho-spiritual static" in a jar and sell it....well, you know....it's just so hard to break those barriers down. But this is the battle that you are talking about. This is the fight that makes it all worth while, I know. So, I am off to war....with myself. Your description of the thought process is really interesting and makes perfect sense. At the same time, I know as clear as it is to me - to read the words on my computer screen - clarity might be lost as I struggle through the process. I will refer back to this dialogue any time I am in need of a reminder - more ammo - an inspiration. Thanks Mendy.

Rachel,
You just beautifully encapsulated why we need to pray three times a day - in addition to meditative pauses before and after we eat, use the facilities etc.
The clarity is just very difficult to keep.
We fall off the horse; so we get back on and start over.
Thanks Rachel