I can understand why someone would want to be a rock. Or, for that matter, an island. After all, a rock feels no pain and an island never cries.
Maintaining thick psychological walls, hearing without listening and speaking without communicating, can seem like an effective way to cope. After all, why should you allow yourself to feel someone's pain when you’re not feeling too great yourself? Why should you share your personal struggles, fears, aspirations or ambitions, laying bare your vulnerabilities and raw nerves? It just doesn't seem safe or prudent.
At the same time, insolation from the world's heartache inevitably means self-imposed exile; it means closing the door to one of life's treasures, the beauty of human relationships. It means cheating ourselves.
In the Torah's portrait of a meaningful life, one should certainly protect one’s self and property. But that’s just the beginning. The primary richness of life is when we brighten our existence with deep and substantive connections. We create meaningful bonds, with the Divine and with each other. We forge relationships that allow us to share our lives.
It's not easy to share what's beneath the surface.
It's difficult enough to be honest with G-d. It's even more difficult to open up to other humans.
I'm never afraid that I'm boring G-d with the story of my life, never afraid that He doesn't understand, that He'll think less of me or that He'll use my revealing information against me.
But with people, it sometimes seems safer to be a rock or an island.
The Torah wants us to take the risk of sharing our lives with others. Because sharing our lives, at whatever level, enriches our lives.
If I have a friendly acquaintance, I'm not going to expose my deepest self. But I can get beyond meaningless chatter to share something of myself, and I can care enough to listen authentically.
Two people - not even the closest of friends – can each invite the other into his/her life. And they're no longer islands. We can even go one step further and invite people into our lives by inviting them into our homes. In the Covid era, this may need to be curtailed for the time being, but we need to keep the Torah value, dating back to Abraham, alive in our hearts and minds.
Having guests doesn't mean calling friends to show off your new entertainment center. It means inviting others into your life by inviting them into your home as your sanctuary.
When we open our hearts, and open our homes, we are islands no more.
ב"ה