The Heart of Sadness

I don't like feeling sad.
Melancholy has a sneaky way of draining our energy and paralyzing our lives.
I much prefer a happy mindset.
But here's the problem: Life isn't a string of happy occasions.
Things happen.
I make mistakes, causing discomfort to myself and others.
Others make mistakes, causing discomfort to themselves and to me.
I have stresses and disappointments that seem part and parcel of my relationships and
obligations.
To ignore them is naïve. To face them is depressing.
What to do?
First, I keep my expectations reasonable, since frustrations are a function of
expectations. Every life on the planet has stress, so I can't honestly be
surprised by my own.
Second, I need to carve out time to face my weaknesses and warts. That's the
only way to an honest life.
I don't want to harp on my failings; but I need to face them. And deep inside,
as disquieting as this introspection may be, I'm glad that I'm going through the
exercise. I'm happy that I have the maturity to face myself, and glad that I'm
self-aware enough to be sad.
Then there's a third element:
I recognize that it's specifically my full plate of
relationships/responsibilities that are the 'troublesome' burden.
I pray to G-d for more manageable stress, but if that's the price of my life and
its blessings, I'll deal with it.
In this vein:
I was always awed by the Rebbe's genuine pain when he would speak of the world's
misery. He sat in Brooklyn, crying real tears about people across the world, people he'd never met.
Watching him, I would experience a strange paradox: I didn't have the Rebbe's
empathy, so I didn't feel the same sadness; but I envied the depth of his
feeling for humanity.
I would've taken the pain of sadness for the power of real connectedness.
A day like Tisha B'av is a day set aside for this type of painful introspection.
Aside from mourning our painful history, we take an honest look at our own
self-destructive behaviors.
It isn't pretty, but it's necessary.
And, deep inside the sadness, there's gladness to be found.