Don’t worry; be happy. A beautiful slogan in charmingly simple words.
But is it realistic? What if I have stresses that I can’t ignore? Should I stick my head in the sand and just smile? Happiness isn’t that simple. Happiness is a frame of mind that is deceptively difficult to achieve and maintain.
To me, happiness doesn’t mean buoyant frivolity. That is shallow and fleeting. It means a genuine inner peace and balance that I achieve when my world makes sense.
I’m not talking about artificially-inspired or externally-stimulated joy from things like alcohol or a great party. We sometimes numb our unhappiness with external forces and call that happiness. Those things might make me feel good, but they don’t qualify as genuine, internal happiness.
So how do I achieve a happy frame of mind?
When I feel that my life has purpose, and that the things I do are GENUINELY in the service of that purpose, I’m on the road to happiness. I may still be working hard, and dealing with difficult situations, but if I’m living for a purpose I truly value, that resonates within me as a deep-seated objective, and that is substantive and enduring, then I can feel internally balanced and happy.
I don’t believe I can be happy building metaphoric ‘sand castles’. I need a worthy goal -- a genuine anchor.
Raising a psychologically and spiritually healthy family is one good example of a worthy goal. Setting my family’s healthy growth as my goal, and building my world around that goal, can bring me inner peace. If I go to work with the goal of providing for my family and they are not just happenstance beneficiaries of my income, I can maintain inner peace in the face of challenges. I can endure significant stress because I’m working for a higher purpose. For my family.
In Judaism, Holiness is the purpose that can bring balance to all of life. So if I believe that I, and my actions, truly matter to G-d; if I believe that my every action can change me and my world for good; that every action is cosmic and enduring in a true sense, then I can have a genuine inner peace.
The stresses are there. But I believe that embracing those stresses and accepting them wholeheartedly is itself a part of my soul’s growth and maturation. Each moment can become an eternally shining nugget of meaning.
We can all find meaningful pursuits (family is just one example), and meaning in our existing pursuits. And that is critical to happiness.
We are presently in the month of Adar, which our Rabbis describe as a month of amplified joy. How do we get there? One tried and true formula: pursuing a life of meaning.