An insightful friend once told me: “When a person is ‘present,’ he/she is nowhere else. Just here. That is all there is to it, and, of course, much easier said than done…. When I am just here, and nowhere else, I have no thoughts about what I am about to say, what he or she is about to say, what I have to do next…. I am just here and nowhere else.”
As someone who struggles with “Smartphone on the Brain,” these words struck a chord.
But how does one manage to actually be ‘present’ on a regular basis?
The question brings to mind an insight which I once heard from the Rebbe: In the Torah, G-d commands the Jews to contribute half a shekel, which is ten gerah (a weight) of silver, to a fund for the Tabernacle’s needs.
Interestingly, the Torah doesn’t say “contribute ten gerahs” of silver. Instead, the Torah – in a way that feels circuitous tells us that a Shekel is twenty gerahs and the donation should be half of that.
The Torah seems to underscoring the need for ‘halfness’.
Why?
Deepening the question, the Rebbe noted that the Torah also instructs that the donation itself not be in installments; one needed to give the entire contribution at one time. It seems to be combining two contradictory values - give HALF a shekel, as a WHOLE (undivided) contribution.
The Rebbe explained it this way:
If you want to give WHOLLY of yourself to a person or situation, then you need to recognize your own “Half-ness.”
As I wrote recently in this blog, when we recognize our own ‘half-ness,’ we’ll be ready to give ourselves whole-heartedly to our neighbors’ needs.
That applies to monetary giving, and it also applies to emotional giving through attentiveness, focus, recognition and prioritization.
If I want to be totally present in any situation, I need to rise above my preoccupation with what’s happened or what will be, and get past the invasive thoughts of where else I need to be. I need to recognize that HERE AND NOW deserves my undivided attention. Because it’s not about me and my day, me and my Android, or me and my future appointments. It’s about us. Me and you. Me and what I’m facing at the moment.
I’m only half the equation in our interaction, and when I truly digest that, I’m ready to be here. In full. For real.