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Rabbi Mendy Herson's Blog

Thoughts from, and conversations with, Rabbi Herson

Wrestling With Life

Life is beautiful. Life also has a way of presenting us with struggles, both from within and from without.

For example, human beings are born with a tendency toward selfishness, and we need a lot of effort to rise above it. When a strong appetite or impulse grabs hold of one’s psyche, it’s difficult to control, even when our mind, and our heart, knows that it’s wrong.  Or maybe we’re facing an existential funk that threatens to paralyze our day, or a more destructive drive that can bring negative consequences in its wake.

Think for a moment and you can fill in the blanks for your own life: each person has their own unique set of appetites and opportunities. But rest assured, we all face hand-to-hand combat for self-control.

Torah wisdom teaches us that mental clarity is the key to victory. Life throws up a lot of haze in the form of unhelpful triggers and attractions, and this opens the door to the less-than-high-minded behaviors that get us into trouble.

So we really need to pierce the moral fog, and carefully examine our decisions in a thoughtful light.

This week’s Torah portion tells that our Patriarch Jacob was once accosted by an angel, a threatening spiritual energy, with whom he wrestled all night.  At daybreak, when the angel recognized that Jacob was tenaciously persevering, the angel gave Jacob a second name: Israel. Israel is a contraction of words that means “you have wrestled with the Divine (angel), and with humanity, and have overcome.”

Israel means wrestling with life’s challenges. Our very name reflects the attempt to conquer life’s shallowness, the hedonistic veneer with which G-d papered this beautiful world.

While describing this epic scuffle, the Scripture throws in a seemingly trivial detail, saying that they “kicked up dust.” The Talmud focuses in on that phrase and adds that the wrestling pair kicked up dust that rose so high it “reached the [anthropomorphic] Heavenly Throne.”

Why this focus on dust?

Because that’s a central part of the lesson. Dust in the air obscures vision; it distorts perception. That’s what Jacob’s struggle was about: cutting through life’s haze to find clarity and healthy direction. We become ‘Israel’, rising to the meaning of our collective name, when we recognize – and actualize - the Divine beauty that lies within and behind the confusing smog.

The dust isn’t a detail of the story, it’s the challenge. How effective we are at seeing through the dust speaks directly to our connection with the Heavenly Throne. Finding clarity in a confusing world is what life’s all about.

Resistance!

 Resistance. It is the act of repudiating the status quo.

The term conjures up great struggles against oppressive power.  The American Revolution, the underground resistance movements during World War II.  That is external resistance.

I want to discuss a different kind of resistance – internal resistance. Resistance in the inner recesses of our hearts and minds. 

Do we have the courage to resist ourselves? Do we have the fortitude to forcefully confront our own habits and norms?

An internal revolution is vital for human growth, but it takes courage and strength.

We raise our children to respect rules of decency, protocol and religious observance – and healthy habits and traditions can make for a good status quo. But simply following the beaten path isn’t good enough; we need to disrupt ourselves. Rebellion WITHIN the discipline is vital.

When we’re in a proper functional rhythm, our souls can still be asleep. One can go through the motions of being a loyal spouse or parent, while one’s brain is at the office, the gym or the mall. We can perform good deeds without any fire in the belly or pro-active consciousness.

If we’re living a life of complacency and self-satisfaction, a life without the passion to rise up against ourselves, have we not become ‘spiritual bourgeoisie’? That would call for revolution.

And we want a Divine uprising too.

G-d’s [meta]physical system has been our established order since time began. But it’s time for a radical change. It’s time for G-d to buck His own system, and bring out the meaning and beauty - the Harmonious Oneness - that’s inherent in our world.

We call that a world of Moshiach – a Messianic era. A world actualized.

And it’s G-d’s promise to humanity: When we rise up against our limitations, G-d will also rise up.

Journey Of A Lifetime

 

Your soul was waiting, hankering, chomping at the bit.

The length of the wait was of no import -- there aren’t any calendars in “Eternity.”  It was all about the depth of the anticipation.

Finally, FINALLY, your soul got the green light for the ultimate challenge, the ‘Iron Man Competition’ of the ages.

Your soul got a body and embarked on the journey of Human Existence.

Why was your soul so excited?

Why did it long for the pain, the suffering, and the inevitable tears?

Because there’s so much to be gained.

Your soul knew you’d be afflicted with a wide assortment of struggles, internal and external. But it also knew full well that every time you rose to the occasion, every time you transcended a self-indulgent bad mood, every time you consciously guided your life in a meaningful direction, every time you crossed the boundary from self-centeredness to responsibility, every time you saw an otherwise mundane moment as a beautiful opportunity waiting to be capitalized upon – you would be creating Cosmic Harmony.

Your soul’s deepest desire was to melt into the Infinite Oneness of the Great Divine, and – FINALLY - your soul’s ticket was punched. The moment arrived.

You were born

Your soul knew that the payoff for your personal victories would be greater intimacy with G‑d and greater Oneness between G-d and the world.

That’s why it waited so longingly.

So here you are -- in the game -- in a life of blessing and bother, purity and pain, success and struggle.

All in all, a life of opportunities.

Compete like your soul is counting on it.

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