Rabbi Mendy Herson's Blog

It’s that time of year. That terrifying chasm-in-time between day camp and school. My three youngest wake up with a chorus of “I’m bored” – even though they had an action-packed day yesterday and it’s only 7am.

We’re their parents, and we need to provide for their needs. At the same time, we shouldn’t give them everything they want. We give lovingly, but within reason.

Yesterday afternoon, they went swimming. A half hour after their return, they were bored again.  I didn’t NEED to provide more entertainment. At the same time, I felt for their distress. I had pity.

So I took them for Slurpees. I just felt that the situation called for me to go beyond my normal protocol.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want to demostrate the difference between kindness and mercy. Kindness is a feeling or act that comes from friendly connectedness of spirit. Mercy is about showing kindness when it isn’t deserved.

Imagine a parent’s mercy on a child, helping him through a difficult patch of his own making. Or a judge using legal discretion to grant a lighter sentence to a convicted violator. It’s not about the person deserving kindness; it’s about the sense of mercy being triggered within the grantor. And that mercy wells from such a deep psychological place that it transcends the normative ‘kindness protocol’.

We’re entering the High Holiday season. The Rosh Hashana/ Yom Kippur liturgy has plenty of references to G-d’s “attributes of Mercy”. What does that mean in Divine terms? It means that is transcending His normative ‘kindness protocol’ to grant us what we need.

Rosh Hashana isn’t about what we deserve, it’s about recognizing that G-d is a loving Parent, and loving Parents find mercy to help their children even beyond what’s ordinarily deserved.   

Before Rosh Hashana, we have a month of preparation, the month of Elul. In Elul, the Mercy is slightly different in that G-d nudges us to have mercy on ourselves, to recognize our own disconnect from Holiness and reach beyond life’s distractions to plug [back] in to a meaningful relationship with G-d. Elul means finding a deeper place within our own psyches, transcending our ‘normative system’ of wants and desires, to find a place of closeness with the Divine.

Elul is also a special time to be merciful to other people. When we find the ‘mercy muscle’ within ourselves, we find a deeper part of our souls, and we trigger Mercy within G-d and the cosmos.

What better preparation for Rosh Hashana?

Last week, my son spoke with a successful jeweler, and confirmed a story people tell about the man:

This Jeweler had a financially-strapped neighbor who decided to try his hand at jewelry, so the neighbor asked the jeweler for help. The latter took him to all of his suppliers, with complete transparency about how he makes his money.

 “Does that make ANY business sense?” he was asked.

The elderly man smiled, “As hard as I work, I won’t get one penny more than G-d gives me.”

Then he laughed “Years later, I’m still rich, that fellow still isn’t; and I have a good story!”

By historical terms, we live in a wealthy country and a comfortable era. Yet many of us don’t feel that way. Many don’t have enough to pursue their desires, and long-term financial security seems elusive, especially since 2008.

Let’s learn from another ‘wealthy’ time in history:

When the Jews left Egypt, they went out into the wilderness. How did they survive? G-d. For example, when they awoke in the morning, they found Heaven-sent Manna on the ground outside their tents.

The Manna was white, a bit bland looking, but it had whatever taste you desired. Fettucini Alfredo for lunch? You got it. Grandma’s brisket with mashed potatoes for dinner? That was the exact taste in your mouth.

But there was a wrinkle. You couldn’t store the manna for tomorrow; if you tried to save some, it miraculously spoiled.

The Talmud points out that the Manna – for all its wonders - had two elements which were dissatisfying to the human psyche/palate.

A.      There was no sense of security. Since they couldn’t put away for a rainy day, they ate well today, but with unease about tomorrow.

B.      People eat with their eyes. The Manna tasted great, but the bland appearance detracted from the pleasure.

In more modern words: They were objectively given wealth, but they subjectively felt dissatisfaction/’poverty’.

Our society is blessed with plenty; just three generations ago this lifestyle was unimaginable. Believe it or not, we have our very own Manna from Heaven.

Recognize it.

Let’s use and save our money wisely; let’s also recognize that our wealth is ultimately G-d’s blessing, our Manna. Sharing, by giving to charity, shows that awareness.

Let your senses enjoy life’s pleasures, but don’t get too bummed out if you’re not touching every single sensual base. Don’t get in your own way.

Just enjoy the Manna.