Rabbi Mendy Herson's Blog

This week’s Torah reading describes how a grieving Abraham approached Ephron, a Hebron landowner, to buy a burial plot for his deceased wife, Sarah. It’s a classic exchange between Honest Abe and the greedy Ephron.

Kabbalistic writings take it deeper, describing this as a confrontation between enthusiasm/humility (Abraham) and lethargy/arrogance (Ephron). In other words, each of these Biblical figures represents a pair of attitudes. But, how? What is the correlation between the two attitudes within each set, and what is the relationship that each set has with its respective Biblical figure?

Spiritual writings point out that in Hebrew the name Ephron reflects the word ‘Aphar’, which means dust. Interestingly, this also reflects Abraham, who referred to himself as ‘dust (aphar) and ashes’ (in contrast to G-d).

What is dust? On the one hand, it is insignificant; we tread upon dust without regard. Psycho-spiritually, this reflects a lack of self-esteem, the joyless feeling of leading an insignificant life.

But there’s another type of dust. The Kabbalah speaks of ‘holy dust’, reflected in the Scripture’s description of the Tabernacle’s flooring as being ‘dust’ (the word ‘Epher’ again). This holy ‘dust’ represents healthy humility.

If I’m wrapped up in what I would have wanted out of life, what I have failed to achieve, what I don’t  have and apparently can’t attain, I’ll have a problem holding on to my zest for life. It’s overwhelming to see myself as ultimately being alone with my burden of climbing life’s mountain and reaching its peak. This is the ‘unholy dust’ attitude.

And, paradoxically, this ‘feeling insignificant’ attitude often comes from self-absorption and distorted self-importance.

Conversely, healthy humility is when I recognize that I’m created by G-d for a purpose that transcends my immediate desires. I’m not flying solo in life; to the contrary, I’m part of G-d’s team of humanity, working together to bring meaning to this world. If I focus on my Divine objective, being productive, performing Mitzvot, and touching other’s lives in simple but meaningful ways, I’m leading a meaningful life. And I’ll be happier.

Perhaps counter-intuitively, my surrender to Higher leads to my self-actualization.

So when Abraham purchased a family burial plot, a place where he, his wife and children would “return to dust” (Job 34:15), he first transitioned the land into ‘holy dust’, dust fit for a holy resting place.

Because everything else is just dust in the wind.

It never fails.

I always get goose bumps when we read the Torah’s account of how Abraham argued against G-d’s plan for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The cities’ inhabitants were viciously evil. Yet Abraham – supreme lover of G-d, monotheist par excellence and a man so surrendered to the Divine Will that he was prepared to give up anything and everything – can’t seem to abide by their mass punishment. “Will the Judge of all the earth not do Justice??” he challenges G-d.

Surprisingly – refreshingly? - confrontational words from a humble servant.

Abraham understood that nothing happens without G-d. And Abraham understood that his finite mind simply couldn’t grasp the depth of G-d’s Infinite intentions. Yet, Abraham knew that he couldn’t just sit back in the face of people suffering. If G-d was going to accomplish something, he wanted G-d – with His Divinely Infinite capability – to accomplish that goal without the cost of human suffering.

This exchange profoundly illustrates the true believer’s mission. We should believe in G-d – and G-d’s Goodness and Power - as firmly as Abraham did. At the same time, G-d doesn’t need us as His defense attornies, essentially shrugging off someone else’s pain as “G-d’s Will”. G-d wants us to care about each other, and be pained by each other’s pain. Our challenge is to lessen someone’s pain, not explain it.

Whenever I read this, I think of the Rebbe. The Rebbe’s absolute and total commitment to Torah, in every aspect of her minutiae, was clear. The Rebbe’s complete surrender to – and love for - G-d was impossible to miss.

At the same time, the Rebbe consistently and publicly prodded G-d, cajoling and even demanding, that G-d go easier on His creations. The Rebbe believed and trusted in G-d so much, that the Rebbe expected more from Him.

To me, the Rebbe seemed to care more about defending his people to G-d, than about defending G-d to his people. Genuine leadership, and true compassion for G-d’s creations.

This was Abraham.

It was Moses (who said to G-d about the Jews (Exodus 32:32): “…please forgive their sin; if not, please erase me from Your book that You have written”).

And I saw it in the Rebbe.

We all need to be leaders in our lives.

Let’s learn from the best.