Rabbi Mendy Herson's Blog

As you read this, take a minute to imagine your next interaction with your spouse, child, parent or close friend. How will it feel? Will it be functional, as you faithfully discharge your responsibilities to those you cherish? Or will it be enthusiastic and alive, reflecting the deep gratitude, love and appreciation you've felt - and can still feel - for these very same people?
In practical terms: When I pick up my children from school today, will my demeanor be that of a loyal chauffer with other things on my mind? Or that of a parent who once stood in awe of a new life, and is now appreciative of an opportunity to honor the relationship?
It’s fair to say that the answer is between me and my loved one. But make no mistake; we’ll both know the truth. When a person has a spring in his step, a quickened pulse, a sense of wonder and enthusiasm...it shows. When you're happy to do something, your demeanor and actions come ALIVE. You can’t hide it. And you really can’t fake it. Now measure your IMAGINED interaction against that image, and decide how you want to guide the ACTUAL. 
Let's also take this concept to Jewish identity: When I perform a Mitzvah, am I merely discharging responsibilities? Or am I joyfully laying another strand in the cable which binds me to my G-d, my people, my destiny?
Now think of the message I send to my children in this regard. When they see me practicing my Judaism, do they see me carrying a burden or delighting in a relationship? By sensing where my excitement lies (and where it doesn’t…), what am I broadcasting to them about my deepest sense of priorities?
Enough questions. Here’s the bottom line: It’s human nature to lose our sense of wonder as we become accustomed to something. Even if that something is outstanding, we'll eventually take it for granted once the excitement settles, if we just follow human nature. But we can rise above human nature.
If I believe in the deep value of a relationship, I need to be pro-active to make sure that it doesn’t dull. I need to consistently re-awaken my initial sense of awe and attraction.
When I next see my loved one, I should bring myself back to the wonder of our relationship. I should let that awe take me over for a moment. If I feel it, my demeanor will show it.
The same applies to my Judaism. G-d cares about our lives. G-d cares about our daily struggles and achievements. What we do is important. So my - and your - next action can be cosmic.
I believe that my writing at this moment, a small attempt to brighten the world in my own way, is part of my destiny. That makes it cosmic. And I’d believe the same if I were a dentist bent over a chair or a lawyer representing a client. If my actions are contributing to making this a better world, if they're consistent with a Torah attitude to life, then I'm doing something monumental. Absolutely monumental. I, the dentist, the attorney - you - just need to feel it.

Can you feel that? Then let it show.  

Shabbat Shalom

Everybody struggles with time. Maybe we're rushing to make an appointment, or wondering why the clock seems to move so slowly. But time is an ever-present, and often frustrating, part of life.

So let's take a fresh look at time. Imagine that we can control time.

Because we can.

Time doesn't have to be a neutral backdrop to my life. I can actively grab hold of my time, and make it meaningful. When I consciously use my time to make my world a better (read: holier, more sensitive, etc.) place, I take a moment, and make it cosmic. I make my time into something timeless.

Think of it this way (somewhat paraphrasing a thought of Victor Frankl’s): One type of person looks at life as a wall calendar. He sadly observes that his calendar, from which he tears a sheet every day, grows thinner and thinner. That person sees himself as a victim of time.

Now consider a person who actively engages his time, seeing each new day as a fresh opportunity for meaningful living. He, as he removes each successive leaf from his calendar, can then use it to record that day's meaningful activities. If he puts those pages into a folder each day, he has a successively growing record of his meaningful life.

That's taking control of your time.

When the Jews left Egypt, on their way to Sinai, they were granted their first Mitzvah. It was to create a calendar. But it wasn’t just about the organizing system. It was about the freedom that comes with controlling one’s time.

We all live in a world which has an incessant flow of time, but we have the freedom to create diamonds out of every moment.

In transcending our personal ‘Egypt’, in finding freedom to guide life instead of succumbing to it, this perspective is liberating.

It’s about finding the Infinite within the finite. And that’s what life – and genuine freedom – are all about.

Shabbat Shalom